Slumdog Buddy

So as I am driving home from gay as work I decide to myself ” you know what? You deserve a beer”….”You are right me, I do” so I stopped by my favorite liquor store. Yes, I have a favorite liquor store. Why you ask. Well let me tell you why. This Indian guy who works there I pray every time I walk in that he is there. Indian from India, not Indian from our history books. Anyways this guy is so fuckin awesome I want to sit and chat with him for hours but lets face it….I want to get home and have a drink. Mutha fukin thirsty son! What is so awesome about him is 1-he knows me. 2-He twitters me when my favorite beers arrive. 3-he calls me “buddy” a minimum of 15 to 87 times per visit. #3 is the the real reason. I actually cant even look him in the eye when I am there because I am thinking about it so much that I cant stop grinning. Here is how tonight went down.

Me walking in:

“Hey buddy. Where have you been buddy?”

Oh just working

“Buddy we got that beer that you like buddy. I saved you some. Let me grab them buddy”

Thanks bud

“Here you go buddy. Geeez buddy you look different in that shirt buddy. usually you come in wearing jeans and a T-shirt Buddy”

Ya I dont usually come during the week unless I had a rough day.

“Everybody has the rough day buddy. Everybody” (even when he is not saying buddy he is saying body which sounds the same)

At this point I cant stop giggling and then I start in with the buddies.

Thanks Buddy. I really appreciate you holding the beers for me buddy….And then he switches it up on me.

“sure, what are bros for”…..He called me Bro. What the shit? 

Now Im standing there like a tard because he threw me off.

Anyways you get the idea and this carried on for about another minute. We talked about beer week and some other hippy shit for a sec and then I was on my way. Imagine the Kwik-e-Mart dude from the SImpsons but like with a blue tooth. I have told so many friends about this guy that they only go there to buy beers because we all think its funny to hear him say buddy a shit ton.

I dont have the heart to tell he we arent buddies. Lower your prices dick.

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