The Bachelor-Week 7

I hope everyone had a nice long weekend….I sure did. I still kinda have the shakes from drinking too much but what else is new….

Damn! Is it already week 7? Time flies when you dont give a shit about Juan fuggin Pablo. I wonder what he can do this week to get on my nerves…..Lets find out, Shall we?

Welcome to Miami everyone. I’ve never been there but I am pretty sure I would be thrown out of Florida for having the most fun allowed there. Hey, Uncle Dave loves the kids but is it me or does Camilla have the most annoying voice ever? It like bothers me….ugh. But on the other hand Clare looks smoking hot still so I guess I will watch this episode.
JP. Kudos for buying the ladies bikinis. Best thing he has done for the male viewers this whole season.
By the way JP just said Sharleen “was an Oprah singer”…..I’m sorry what the fuck does that mean? Lost in translation once again bud….The bachelors don’t even need to be American born anymore you just need have a wide variety of vneck shirts in many bright colors. And why did Sharleen act like an idiot when she handed him the date card? I really like her hair though. In case people were not aware I love hair. I couldnt begin to tell you why. I think I should have been a hairstylist in another life but a straight one of course…Anyone needs a cut and color holler at your boy…….Ok ten minute clip of them kissing isnt needed. Thank you.
I do NOT like her red bikini thing. It looks good from the back and then the front is hella busy. I don’t understand her….She talks so much shit about him and how things arent working but when they are together she is all about him. Chalk that up to me not understanding women whatsoever. I kinda like her cream dress and I think she looks pretty tonight. god I hope they don’t kiss…..Crap, too late. I don’t get these two at all……I’m so over both of them. What an indecisive bitch…..Allow me to decide for you. GOOOOOO!
Nikki date- She is such a cutie but she is ready to shit herself. She seems soooo nervous to meet the family and Camilla. Its a little too soon if you ask me. Hope she doesnt choke. Holy Shit. Is that JP’s ex? She is hot! I wonder what he did to screw that relationship up. All you internet stalker find out for me. I need deet’s.
Nikki has got a smoking hot body. Note to self. If I ever hang out with a woman and her shirt is barely clinging to her boobs, take her to go play catch. How is her boobs not popping out left and right?  Tape? Glue? Whatever it is I wish there was less of it? Either was she is very pretty.
So Sharleen is going to quit and give up? Her saying she isn’t feeling it is a lie. I think the more she gets attached to him to more she is scared he wont pick her. She is this seasons “I’m going to bail before he lets me go” girl. And why the hell is she whispering? If I wanted to read a bunch of subtitles I would watch Juan Pablo’s interviews again. Spoiler alert Sharleen. We can still here even when you whisper. You ain’t Batman. Speak up bitch. JP has his hand all over her face like he is trying to Palm a basketball. Gross. Don’t touch everyone’s faces so much.
And now this fool is crying…This guy cries more than the ladies do. I’m not buying it homie.
Group Date- Bikini day. Everyone shut up and let me focus…sssshhhh
Chelsea. Oh, cool. You brought letters from your mom on the group date. Lets read them all.
Mom-2 Drink Max and keep your clothes on
Dad- Do the opposite of what your mom says. Hahaha.
Clares true colors are coming out. She is talking shit about Andi getting the rose. This is about to get ugly. Andi is killing that red dress. I approve for sure. I think I am attracted to all the girls except Renee at this point.  Anyone know who that dude is singing? I sure don’t just some cholo probably.
These bitches are being such bitches. They are seriously arguing about who paid for the suite? Who’s space is who’s? Get real people. They have to know that there is going to be mad jealousy and they should be friends after a certain amount of episodes.I am really struggling to find something to say this week. The only thing I am focused on is Nikkis bright pink dress. She looks amazing in it.
And begin the Awkward silence segment…10 seconds, 20 seconds, 30 seconds….We get it. Show something else now. Thank god Andi is walking up now because its making me uncomfortable and I’m not even there. I am at home in my “Pee-Yam-aahhs”.
And Chelsea is outta there. Poor thing. She didnt see that coming I dont think…I sure did. And here come the tears.
Sorry for the extremely boring recap I just wasnt feeling it this week. Its so much easier when all the girls are psycho and when there are more of them. Well with that being said next weeks double episode looks like its jammed full of crazy. I cant wait for that one.
Next week I will for sure get a good buzz going before I decide to write. I couldnt do it tonight. I am done drinking for the week. Blah.
Well I hope everyone has a fantastic week and I look forward to sending 2 next week.
Nighty Nite ya’ll

Image

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. Dude, I sorta thought you were about to jump ship from Team Clare to Team Pug face….I mean, Team Bitch…I mean, Team Nikki. Could she have been a bigger bitch last night? Your girl, Clare, stood her ground, and her boobs looked magnif!! I even wanted to touch them.

    Sharlene – who gives a shit about you? If you were only cute like Ali, you might have a chance at being Bachelorette, but you screwed that up with your duck face kissing. So glad I don’t have to see that anymore.

    Andi CANNOT dance. JP looked like he was holding onto a pole wearing pumps. I think he even just picked her up and tried to bounce her around the stage for a bit. So bad. They should have cut that whole scene out, and WTF is up with her moo moo? Last week a one piece, this week a moo moo, and she has a killer bod. I don’t understand her. She has huge insecurity issues. Clearly.

    Renee has a really pretty face. I think you don’t like her bc she has bad hair. It was even worse in humidity central Miami.

    Let’s see…what did I miss?

    Oh yea – that picture….I FUGGIN LOVE IT!!!! (and I really like the word “fuggin”. I’m going to borrow that one.)

    P.S. – since this is the longest comment in the history of wordpress…can I just copy and paste this into the email so that I don’t have to come up with other stuff to say?

  2. Fuggin steal my shit. Its ok. haha. Im stoked Clare actually made that picture. That was nice of her.
    So Renee’s hair isnt bad I think I dont like her because she looks identical to my friends sister. Maybe thats it…..
    I would never jump ship on my Clare Bear. I love her. She is my new Emily…..DID YOU HEAR THAT EMILY….You have been replaced! and you think YOU wanted to touch Clares boobs? Imagine how I felt

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s