The Bachelorette- Week 2

Happy Monday everyone and I hope you all had a nice relaxing 3 day weekend. Thank you to all the men and women in the service fighting for us and their families. We appreciate it.

Before I get started I wanted to let everyone know that I will be on vacation next Monday and will not be giving you all my 2 cents. I am headed to San Diego to visit some family and then heading to Palm Springs for 3 days of golf. So stoked. Its by far my favorite thing to do all year……But wait! I have planned ahead. Since I wont be watching the show and talking shit I have asked someone to fill in for me. She shall remain nameless and you will just have to wait and see who it is. 
Ok, lets see what this bitch gets herself into this week……
So the guys are now in the mansion. It looks like a damn H&M model shoot.
Eric gets the first one on one date. Shit, this is hard. Tough knowing this guy looks happy but I know he is no longer with us….How sad.Kinda like watching the Tupac or Michael Jackson Hologram. 
Eric “whats this place called?”
Andi “This place is called the beach”
What a fuggin bitch. Obviously its the beach dummy but what are we doing here? (is what he should have said)
Oh snap! Andi is actually wearing a bikini….and wearing it well. Special note to the camera crew though when they are doing sand angels take it from a different angle where you are not all up in her V zone. Oh cool….a helicopter ride. How unexpected. Hopefully Eric never watched this show before because 9 times out of 10 you get to ride in a chopper. Not that special…..Oh…Louie vitto. Now that pretty cool. That kid is pretty dope.
I would like to go on record and say that thats NOT snowboarding! She was wearing snowboarding gear and standing with a board on her feet. Hot cocoa and sitting on a sled on more her style. 
Ok, I have caught on to Andi’s “thing”….She says “stop” a lot. Kinda like how when you tell a story and someone says ‘shut up”….They dont want you to shut up, they just mean ” Noooo Waaaaay”….Ya, she does that.
Fuck. Eric seems like a pretty good guy. Did I just hear him say he roasted marshmellows over a volcano? I think I would have a hard time being with someone that has done almost everything humanly possible. 
Group Date time. Lets bare our souls. Oh crap….here we go. Male exotic dancing? Uhhhhh gross. I wonder what else is on…..
Craig is annoying as ever. I dont like this guy. Is he always drunk?
My boy Chris the golfer is the gay robot. Haha. Classic. Nice thong homie Hahah.
Cody is a shit bag. Arrogant asshole. Yes we all know you work out. Fag.
Pretty sure Chris Harrison smacked one of the guys asses.
Why does Brian have a black eye? Did I miss something?
Glad that is over but I have a feeling I was the only one who did NOT enjoy that scene. I want to hear what you all thought….Bunch’a hoochies.
Damn. Andi looks hot in that black dress and when I say Andi I mean her boobs are pretty much calling my name. #FanOfTheBoobGlisten
Craig is obviously the town drunk and he is becoming fun to watch….Although I am sure he is going home very soon. Dude is ripped. haha. “whats the worst thing about your parents?” LMAO.hahahahaha. I am actually laughing and crying. How funny is that? I want to party with him kinda.
Get over it Andi. So he had too much to drink. Everyone is out of their element and alcohol helps people let loose. He just went to far….BUT We all know thats how he is all the time. She is taking it as a personal attack on her process to find true love on TV with 25 guys with a countless amount of money to spend. Because thats normal. I think she needs to have a few cocktails and re-fukin-lax herself……….
Well hopefully Chris has a nice date with her. So who does everyone think is the front runner so far?
Santa Anita horse track is fun. I have been there before. Its exciting even when you only bet a couple of bucks. How is Chris gonna come out looking like Pee Wee though? Ugh. I am not a fan of the bow tie. Let that trend go fellas. 
“You just kinda know, you know”….I couldnt have said it better myself old lady. 
Wait I thought Andi had one last surprise for Chris. Ummmm A private concert? Thats not a surprise. We all knew it was coming since it happens every season. WOW. the first kiss was the real surprise if you ask me. I didnt think that was going to happen. City lawyer and farmer scare me a bit. I dont think he could keep up with her life style. Curious to see how that pans out. I like his hair.
Sock puppets behind the couch…..Check please.
Ok, So I am about to let you all in on a secret. All of these guys are acting like perfect gentlemen because they havent slept with her yet. Thats what we do. This is why I dont like the Bachelorette as much as the Bachelor. The guys are playing to win. They are all there to beat the other guys. Andi is the first place trophy and its not as genuine as 1 guy and a bunch of women. Women are more honest. There, I said it…  
Breaking news: This just in. Craig cant sing for shit. Now back to our show.
Well FUCK! My guy Nick S. is out. Bye Bye $10. Shit.
Ok so I guess the Bachelorette is on twice next week. My replacement is going to have her work cut out for her. Haha. Nothing like a double header to get your feet wet. 
Another episode is come and gone and not too much excitement just yet. I can say that I am starting to like some of the dudes now. Usually I hate them all for at least 3-4 episodes but some of them are stepping it up. 
Who does everyone like so far? Who does everyone think is hot? Who do you see ending up with Andi? Is it too early?
I want to know so send some feedback when you cant. 
I hope everyone has a good night out there in internet land. Dont miss me too much next week.


  1. I’m sure Eric would love that you compared him to a Tupac or Michael Jackson hologram. That might be the ONE thing that never happened to him. In all seriousness though, he sounds like a really good guy, and he was so pretty. At least we know he lived a full life, even if it was cut too short.

    I’m super proud of Andi for getting over her insecurities and pulling out the bikini. She killed it! And a special thanks to the esthetician called in by Bachelorette cuz her skin looks amazing (and hairless). The wardrobe people really pulled out all the stops, and by all the stops, I mean the plunging neck lines. #boobs Stop! I personally loved that green throwback dress. I want one. Like right now.

    Truth be told, I tuned out a lot of the Andi parts. I still find her so incredibly d-u-l-l, and not gonna lie, I am so easily distracted when she’s onscreen just like JP’s season. Hey, remember him? Wonder what Nikki’s up to. The drama over the drunk guy was a little ridiculous. Puhleaze!

    Front runners: It’s still a little early for me, but a few of them are super hot and kind of charming. I’m not mad about my boy, Patrick, and his firefighter routine. That was smokin’ hawt! He looks good in a hat. His hair bugs me, though.

    The pro-baseball player is hot, and the dude from Dallas, but that’s all that I can remember.

    I love that your boy, Nick, was a not so sexy robot. He was a good sport though, and I had to giggle at him a little.

    Anyone else miss Brooks?

  2. I did not watch week 1 and I only paid attention to parts of this episode so I could not tell you anybody’s names and at this point most of them are blending together for me. But everybody blending together is typical of the bachelor franchise even when I do pay attention. Where do they find these people? Are we sure they are really human and not just robots that ABC pops out of an assembly line each season?

    Andi seems like she could snap at any moment and enter full uptight bitch mode…and I like that about her. The girl is a lawyer and that usually says a lot about a person. For instance, it tells me there is no way in hell she’s going to move to a farm in some podunk town.

    Eric (I know his name only because of the whole tragic death thing) – yeah he’s awesome. Too awesome. I would never feel comfortable with him. He did too much, he saw too much. His stories would always top mine. He tells us he roasted a marshmallow over a volcano and my response would have been, umm s’mores are yummy…

    I’m with you on the bow tie – the guy looked like such a dork I couldn’t focus on anything about him. In fact, I probably won’t even recognize him without the bow tie and ill-fitting suit in the next episode. The old couple was cute and I’d rather watch them flirt with each other for longer than listen to another vanilla band who ‘surprisingly’ has showed up just for the date.

    The guy that drank too much, you say get over it but here’s the problem with that. Yes, we realize everybody makes mistakes and those shows practically pour the alcohol down your throat for you so somebody is bound to do this every time. But his behavior was super unattractive and once we lose the attraction it’s over. You can’t unsee what you have seen. The song only made it worse. I would have bet money at that point that she was going to send him packing.

    And now a general note: I am so bored with the live bands, the helicopters, the pool parties. I want to see the date where they go grocery shopping and burn the meal they made from it, the date where they go to the local dive bar and play pool against some bad-ass bikers, and the date where they argue over what netflix movie to put on the tv and sit there in comfy clothes and drink cheap wine. Show me the couple that has chemistry and humor during those kinds of typical dates and I’ll believe they have a shot at a relationship once the camera turns off.

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