In my town they just finished construction on the new home of the San Francisco 49ers and let me tell you….The stadium is sick. Last Saturday they had the very first ever event there and I just had to go. It was for the San Jose Earthquakes soccer. Apparently its a professional team we have that I dont know about because I am not that Mexican. I didnt care what or who was going to be there but I couldnt miss it. I knew I wasnt going to watch the game but I was just going to wonder around and take pics….and drink beers. Mission accomplished. Its only about 10 minutes from my house but since I watch the news I knew it was going to be a straight up cluster fuck trying to get in that zoo. We parked across the street at a golf course. I had an extra ticket so I ended up selling it to my buddies friend and they met us in the parking lot while we tailgated. The chick that bought it was kinda semi cute but no real attraction. Did I just get set up on a blind date? Fuck, I hope not because I dont like that. We had discussed before the game that we both couldnt give a rats about the game and our goal was to drink and eat as much as possible. Done and done. That place was super expensive and I told her the $50 she owed me we would just spend on drinks anyways.
. Everyone pretty much got split up the second we got in the building. So we were in line at one point to get these sausage things that we saw everyone eating and I asked her “ohhh are you going to get the grilled onions and all that stuff” She says ” I don’t know because I feel like we are going to make out later”…..Ummm excuse me? Who do you think I am?……..I told her “well why don’t we just get it out of the way now so that way we can both get it with the onions and peppers, plus we don’t have to stand around like a bunch of 15 year old kids figuring out if we should kiss or not later”….So we shared a little smooch and we both laughed about it. I think it had a lot to do with my sponsor of the evening…..Coors light but that’s besides the point. I dragged her through the crowd by her hand and the rest of the night we joked about being on a date. Everything was like ” are we having our first fight?” or “I think we should break up”. Little stupid jokes like that but it was funny. The stadium shares a parking lot with an amusement park here in San Jose so by the end of the game there were fireworks. I joked and told her that now she can tell everyone she saw fireworks on our first date. hahahah………….Long story short I am pretty sure she thought I was gay. hahahahahahah. Fuckin’ bitch.
She was an esthetician and it came up that I wax my legs. She is going to judge me? She waxes peoples vagina’s and gunk holes and she wants to act like I’m weird?
Moral of the story is if they open a new stadium in your city don’t be called gay in it.