Happy Monday everyone and I hope you all had a nice relaxing 3 day weekend. Thank you to all the men and women in the service fighting for us and their families. We appreciate it.
**Warning: If you have not watched Monday nights episode do not read this……
Season Recap: Juan Pablo is a ball sack. The end. Hahaha.
Whats up everyone? I hope you all had an amazing week and are braving the weather wherever you are……Its sprinkling right now in my hometown. I better hunker down and stock up on water and canned goods.
Two nights in a row this week. First of all you’re welcome. Secondly I feel so mysterious. Kinda like when Dorthy and the rest of those weirdos went to Oz and found the wizard was just some regular dude talking shit behind a curtain. You’re telling me he couldnt have gotten an office down the hall? The best place for him to hide was right behind a curtain in the same room as them? Everything else in that movie made sense but that part, they totally lost me….Anyways I feel like a wizard.
Well now that the Olympics are officially over I can now focus back on this Venezuelan fuck! I have to say I am very proud of the United States Team and our country. They did really well and it was so exciting to watch. I hope you all took part in cheering on our athletes. Going to an Olympics is now on my bucket list…..Right under getting called “child” from an old southern black woman….Its a real list and that is really on there. I promise.
Sorry to the 3 people following me for not keeping my page updated during this past week. I have been so preoccupied with the Olympics its not even funny. I am pretty bummed they are officially over. Now what am I going to do with my time? I guess I will just have to keep watching American Idol, Amazing race, workaholics, Nashville, Vanderpump Rules, Brooklyn Nine Nine, The Bachelor, The Voice, 2 Broke Girls, New Girl, Survivor, Toned up, Gold Rush, Shark Tank, The Walking Dead, Golf, Hockey(Sharks), Baseball(Giants), The Real Housewives, KUWTK, Shahs of Sunset, Well pretty much anything on Bravo and Pawn Stars. I’m going to be so bored. Fuck, I watch way too much tv. Anyways congratulation to the USA team and the rest of the world. Thank you for an exciting two weeks. If anyone out there knows where I can get a Gracie Gold Magnet for my fridge or maybe a Gracie Gold key chain I would love to know. She is adorbs.
Ok so starting tomorrow I can getting my lazy ass back to the gym. I have a very obsessive personality so once I commit to something I go 110%. I need to get this body pool party ready Summer is just around the corner my friends. I will have to go a minimum 5 times a week and I think I will try to jog every other day as well. Im getting fat and no one is trying to hook up with a fat guy….Unless your a fat girl and if thats the case I dont hook up with fat girls so dont even bother.
ok quick recap of my week…. Lets see here…..hmmm
Last Sunday a local brewery, Russian River releases this beer that only out twice a year. Pliny the Younger. Its amazing and people wait in line for up to 8-10 hours just to get in the door. Would I do that? Hell no! I know of a handful of places in the bay area that have a keg so I decided to try my luck and get some. I had it last year and by far it was the best beer I have tasted. So sunday morning comes around and I call my friends to see who wants to try and grab a glass with me…No one is available so I say Fuck it…I actually said that out loud which was weird because I was home alone. So I decided to drive by this place solo and saw only about 15 people in line which was amazing. I knew I wanted to try it so I waited for 2 hours. they only gave out about 65 glasses or so…I was number 32 in line. Threw my Beats Studios on and sat like a hipster waiting in line for beer….My mom would be so proud. Finally they opened and I got in a got a beer. It was $10 for a 9 ounce pour. Not bad considering. I got my beer( and another full pint of another). Dont judge me. daddy likes his alcohol. Anyways I sat at the one seat open at the bar, yes alone and sat and stared at the beer. Smelled it, looked at it and finally tasted it after waiting 1 full year…..Holy fuck it was strong. I dont know if it was because I had nothing in my stomach and it was 1pm or I was just being a bitch. But it was hella alcoholy. Thats a word I think. I didnt really enjoy it that much and realized I was just a part of the hype that makes it popular. What a disappointment but either way I was drinking at 1 so it wasnt too bad. I chatted with the people around me for a bit and enjoyed my drinks the best that I could. I finally had a solid buzz going on so I decided to go to this other bar where my friends were to have another drink. Drank a beer then went to lunch and had another beer there. My other friend, I have a lot of friends, was down the street at another bar. We have a lot of bars too. I met them and from there it was all down hill. Pretty much was a shit show from that point on. I think I am going to quit drinking for a while especially since I get the worst hangovers of anyone on this planet. Im too old for this shit. I dont know moderations. Once I have a drink everything is a good idea. So once I start the gym tomorrow I am quiting drinking….Well not fully but no more craft beers or hard shit. It kills me. Its got to be a big occasion for me to booze from now on(FYI I say this about twice a week). I think I will only drink light beers or something chill. Sorry, this is just me trying to prove to myself I dont need booze to have a good time. But I am fun when I drink and everyone likes me….
The next night, Monday it was poker night with the guys. I am in a league where we play monthly for 6 months for points. I won last season and won $600 for the season. There is a nightly pot too. Anyways of course I am with the fellas so I have a few drinks even though I didnt want to. I hate myself at this point. Oh and I lost and still had to go home and watch the Bachelor so I could post my weekly recap.
Tuesday I dont think I did shit. Sat on my ass and didnt drink.
Wednesday I went to dinner with a friend and wouldnt you know it!!!! drink!
Thursday and Friday I was too tired from work so I just watched more Olympics.
Saturday I had errands to run and my friend from work text me to meet at a local restaurant where they are known for having drinks that put you on your ass. I said I will come meet for 1 beer……Well 4 beers later I decided to go home since I was golfing in the morning. I got home and went to dinner with my roommate and his kids to a brewery down the street. I didnt drink. did you hear me? I DIDNT DRINK. Proud moment but I did eat like a fat ass pig.
So this morning I woke up feeling good and got ready to golf. Drove me and my friend to Oakland to some golf course I had never been to. We were supposed to meet another buddy and his uncle. Both Canadians. So We walk into the clubhouse, First time I have ever seen a couple of ‘brothas’ working the front desk. I tell him that I had a tee time at 10:18 and he cant find our name….He says ” are you sure you are at the right place?”….1-Im not not fukin stupid and 2-read number 1 again. I look at my buddy real quick like ” is this guy kidding me?”…And I say this is a bowling alley right?…..He says ” I dont get it”….I say nevermind and walk out to call my other friend who I was meeting. Long story short we were at the wrong course. Great. So we drive about 5 minutes and find the course. Shittiest course i have ever seen. Like zero grass and it was like playing in Kuwait or something dirty as fuk. I started off horrible and ended up playing the best I have ever played. Shot an 85 which is amazing to me. No other exciting news to report.
So with the closing of the Olympics its bitter sweet. Its the end of another major sporting event but reality is setting in that I now have to commit to the gym and stop drinking. I am looking forward to getting into my gym routine and getting fit. I just need some motivation. Usually buying shoes, or gym clothes helps.
So thats how my week went down….OHHHH and to top it all off I drove to like 8 places on Saturday to try and find this wax I use for my legs. Haha. I dont mind saying that because no one reads this. Yes, I wax my legs. I always have and I like it so kiss my gritz. So until I find it I am going to have to wear pants to the gym…FUK. If you read this far then you deserve to hear my secret.
Everyone enjoy their week and look forward to my 2 night recap of the Bachelor. Its going to be a good one
Damn! Is it already week 7? Time flies when you dont give a shit about Juan fuggin Pablo. I wonder what he can do this week to get on my nerves…..Lets find out, Shall we?
Who is ready to hate on a bunch of spoiled bitches who are fighting over a stupid loser? I sure am.